Monthly Archives: November 2016

The Coogee Pavillion

Purveyor: The Coogee Pavillion, Coogee Beach, NSW Australia

Menu Item: Fried Chicken Sandwich

Price: $21 AUD

Squawk: This fairly average burger is majorly overshadowed by the Fried Sebago Potatoes with crisp thyme and chilli aioli ($12). These don’t come with the burger (fail), but they are off the hook. Dangerously delicious and highly recommended. But the burger! Tell us about the burger, you say. (We hacked your phone and can hear everything you say and think BTW). So the burger: It’s fine. It does the job and doesn’t do anything so overtly wrong that we can truly hate or praise it. They got the “chips included” part right, but they’re average chips that only serve as a negative counterpoint to the Fried Sebago Potatoes. The rather large venue was recently refurbished by the Merivale Group and if you go in between peak times, it’s actually quite a pleasant place to be. Especially in summer when all the windows and doors open to glorious sea breezes.

Buaawk: Staff here are, as expected with Merivale venues, attractive and friendly, but also relatively inattentive and seemingly dimwitted. On our last visit we watched a waitress drop glassware onto the floor three different times within an hour. Maybe she was just having a bad day. Truth is, this is just an unsurprising, neutral burger so rather than blather on about it, we’ll take this opportunity to vent one of our pet peeves around here: Spicy Mayo that isn’t spicy at all. One of our favourite bartenders at The House of Prime Rib in San Francisco, taught us ages ago that the best way to make a martini is to just look at the Dry Vermouth bottle very closely, but never pick it up (i.e. don’t use it). Whether or not you like your martinis super dry or not, this same philosophy seems to apply in Australian kitchens whenever a Chef decides to make “spicy mayo.” If they use regular mayo and just look at a chilli then it’s somehow, magically, deemed spicy. This is a long way round of saying that shit wasn’t spicy at all, and pretending it is makes Chef look dumb and us feel sad. Put some freakin’ heat on it! Have a great day.

Get Your Fat Ass Into This

Rum Kitchen

Dee vibe Mon, eets about dee vibe.

Dee vibe Mon, eets about dee vibe.

Purveyor: The Rum Kitchen, SoHo Carnaby St., London UK

Menu Item: The Twist Burger

Price: £8

Squawk: This place is one of the many “Kingly Court” open air eateries and a great destination if you’re hungry and don’t know what you’re in the mood for, but of course, you do know don’t you? That’s why you’re here and why you should probably join up and start submitting some chicken burger reviews of your own, but we digress.

Lots of other options out there.

Lots of other options out there.

The Twist Burger is a Jamaican jerk chicken burger served with tomato, lettuce, hoisin mayo & Sriracha and comes on its own. All sides are extra. Even fries, which is a bad idea “mon.” The chicken is perfect combo of chewy and crspy without the sinewy strings of “nature’s dental floss” we’ve found on other Jerk burgers in the past. The spice is nice although not as long lasting as we would have liked. Presentation is solid. We like the decor, the music and the overall vibe. And we noted their.custom printed bowl/plate liners and their very nicely printed 43 page drinks menu (the food menu is one page, so we know where their priorities lie – which reminds us, we always love those mini bottles of Red Stripe Beer, we call them “Jamaican hand grenades.” Details like the tin can cutlery holders added an authentic touch.

Buaawk: Service while friendly, was, as is expected in this part of the world, terrible. Our burger came first. Then our beer. Then our cutlery/napkins. And then, finally, they asked us if we wanted water, to which we replied “yes,” and instead they brought us a candle. When we asked for extra hot sauce we got Sriracha. Not sure what part of Jamaica that’s from. It works, but that’s because Sriracha is a universally friendly, non discriminatory sauce, and not due to any observable kitchen intellgience.