Purveyor: Keg & Brew, 26 Foveaux St. Surry Hills NSW, Australia
Menu Item: Diablo Chicken Burger
Price: $16 AUD ($9.90 on Mondays)
Squawk: The smokey cheese was the only highlight of this burger – that, and it looked appetising when it landed on my table. How wrong I was.
Buaawk: Where to start? The chicken wasn’t spicy, as advertised. It was, however, overcooked, and had the consistency of chicken you would find in the frozen section of your local supermarket. The brioche tasted a day old. Even the freshest of brioche has no business housing a chicken burger, in my opinion.* I think it had coleslaw, but there was so little that I’m struggling to remember.
Rating: 2/10
– Tim B.
*Editor’s Note: This is a subject of much debate here at Holy-Cluck and is largely brioche dependant.
Lettuce introduce you to the most impressive sub-mission yet: A savory chart of sandwiches! Featuring an internationally inspired, mouthwatering menu of nearly 90 hand-drawn heroes, gyros, and much, much more—from the basic Bologna to the revered Reuben to the veritable food-pocalypse that is the gut-busting Gatsby—each enticing edible has been deconstructed into its various components and sorted by primary ingredient, along with notations for country of origin and serving temp. An open-faced love letter to the super-heroes of lunchtime, this delectable diagram makes for delightful decor no matter how you slice it.
Using 100 lb. archival stock certified by The Forest Stewardship Council, this poster is pressed on an offset lithographic press with vegetable-based inks in Long Island City, New York. Each print is signed and numbered by the artists, and comes packaged in a Pop Chart Lab Test Tube.
Purveyor: Neighbourhood, Bondi, NSW Australia
Menu Item: The Alabama Slammer
Price: $24 AUD
Squawk: It’s like the best American Southern fried chicken and coleslaw you’ve had rolled into a burger. I was standing out the front of this restaurant having a look through the menu, when a guy reared up next to me and boomed “You have to get the Alabama Slammer! I’m tellin ya, if it’s not the best f*cking chicken burger you’ve ever had, I will pay for it!!!” The lovely fellow was right and I payed for my own burger.
Buaawk: This thing is a clogger. There is nothing healthy about it. Except the cabbage.
Rating: 9.5/10
– Benny Z
Purveyor: The Clock Hotel, Surry Hills, NSW 2010
Menu Item: Chermoula Chicken Burger, Lemon Yoghurt, Fennel Slaw
Price: $18 (Two for one special on Tuesdays during lunch)
Squawk: Well. We liked the bottled hot sauce. And it’s an amazing venue – Make sure you sit upstairs on the balcony on a nice day and watch the world go by.
Buaawk: This burger has all the signs of someone who really, really wanted to do something great. Like a little kid at bat, dreaming of winning the world championship, but sadly it’s a swing and a miss. The “Chermoula” was a feeble attempt at Jerk or Moroccan spice mix that should have been amazing, but was sadly wasted on a chewy, stringy, tiny piece of meat with the skin still on. The fennel slaw was a nice try, but too much mayo made it rough on the palate. And seriously. Lemon yoghurt? Get. Off. My. Burger. To make things worse there was too much bun, plus greasy fries. But the bottled hot sauce was great.
Rating: 3/10